Why does everyone make such a big deal out of New Years? Well, I think the simple reason is that it's fun. You go to a party, eat, drink, dance and have fun with your friends. And I can't speak for everyone else but for me I like New Years because it's a chance to look back at the last year--think about what the things you did right, think about the mistakes you made and more importantly to think about what you have learned from the mistakes you made. I think New Years is so nice because it's a chance for a fresh start.
Over the holidays I was sitting in the living room talking to my aunt. The rest of the family had gone to bed and it was just the two of us left talking. She asked me if I was happy. Well, I was curled up in a nice, comfy armchair, drinking egg nog and sitting by the fire so my toes were nice and toasty. So, I said, "Yes, I am pretty happy and overall I think our family has been pretty lucky." Well, by this time my aunt had had a few drinks and she said, "Well, what are you unhappy about?" And without a moments hesitation I said, "My job at the grocery store, obviously." I mean overall my life is good and I am a pretty content, happy person but this job is the thorn in my side. I want to take a minute here to sort of explain what I mean by that because I don't want it to sound like I think I am too good to be working there. There are all sort of jobs I can think of--a garbage man, for example. There is certainly nothing wrong with being a garbage man. They perform an absolutely vital function. I mean, imagine if there wasn't garbage collection in your community. But I just know without a doubt in my mind that I don't want to be hanging off the back of a garbage truck collecting trash.
Ever since I was young, my family has stressed the importance of education and hard work. And since I was about 10 years old I have wanted to be a lawyer. I had the idea that lawyers helped people. Lawyer fought for fairness and truth. So I did the "right" thing. I graduated from high school (with average grades) and went to college (with average grades) and finally applied to law school. Imagine my surprise when I was actually accepted. I graduated law school with a sense of excitement and I was really looking forward to the future. I was excited to do something that contributed to society. I was excited to embark on a challenging career. I was excited to help people. And now, here I am working at a grocery store--no closer to becoming a lawyer. So for the first time in my life my faith is slightly shaken. I find myself wondering if maybe just hard work isn't enough. I mean, Kim Kardashian has become a household name and she no discernible talent. She made a sex tap, signed a deal for a reality t.v show and suddenly she's making millions of dollars a year. I have gone through years and years of schooling trying to establish a career and I end up at a grocery store. That just seems sort of messed up to me. I'm not saying I need to be a millionaire--I would just like to make a comfortable living. I don't need a Ferrari--I would just like a cute little Honda Civic with a sunroof. So that is why working at the grocery store is so frustrating for me--It's not that there is anything wrong with being a cashier at a grocery store it's just that I have worked pretty hard and I just feel like I have more to offer then scanning groceries.
Recently, I have really thought about giving two weeks notice at the grocery store. I was thinking that if the store wasn't there as a sort of safety net I might push myself harder to find something better. I can honestly say that I have really been trying to find a better job. I spend hours on the Internet researching law firms and reading job postings. I have been sending out resumes and I have even been on a few job interviews recently. But I need to keep working at it. I realized that I just have to take a deep breath, take things a day at a time and set goals for myself. And it is up to me to make sure that I meet the goals I set. No one else will do it for me. The job at the grocery store is just a part-time, temporary thing. But whenever I walk in there it just reminds me that I am not the lawyer I want to be and I feel like a failure. Then I have to remind myself that it doesn't define me. Maybe it will ever help give me character and remind me not to take myself too seriously!
So, I shared this story with you guys because I hope that if someone else reading is in the same boat they won't give up on their dreams. Set goals for yourself and keep working toward them.
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