Come out, come out where ever you are...

Someone I work with "came out" a few weeks ago--generally there is nothing so unusual about this...I know lots of gay people and people come out to their family, friends and coworkers every day. What was a little unusual about it this time is that the person who came out was one of the store managers who is 38 years old with a wife (or soon-to-be ex-wife) and 2 kids.

My first reaction was, "I knew it!" I remember when I first met him. He said hello, introduced himself and I thought to myself, "This guy is gay." (Not that there's anything wrong with that). Not that he's flaming gay or anything but let's just say that he definitely has certain "mannerisms". Then I was there for a few weeks and got to know him. I noticed his wedding ring and learned that he was married with two young kids--so I just figured I was wrong.

I don't know him very well beyond working with him once or twice a week but his situation got me thinking. On one hand I felt sort of sad for him that he went on that long feeling like he couldn't truly be himself.  One the other hand I'm happy for him. He told someone he has known he was gay since he was 16. For whatever reason he felt like he couldn't let people know about that part of himself. So I feel like he did what he thought was expected of him--he met a girl, got married to her, had a few kids and lived in the suburbs with a minivan. He lived that life for a long time and finally decided it was time to be honest with himself and the other people in his life. Now he says he feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders and that he's much happier. He's out there now (pun sort of intended) and dating and going out with friends prowling for cute guys.  So I'm really glad that everything worked out for him.

On the other hand marrying someone and starting a family with someone is one of the biggest commitments you can make. Marrying someone when you know you are gay seems sort of selfish to me--not to mention delusional. I really believe being gay isn't a choice it's a part of you who you are--like your height or your eye color. It's a part of your genetic makeup. So if he knew he was gay when he was 16 did he honestly think getting married would make those feelings just magically go away? And once he did decide to get married his decisions didn't just effect him anymore. Now they effected his wife and his young kids. And then I thought about his wife for a minute. I felt bad for her--of course I did. But come on lady--I shook hands with your husband the first time I met him and I knew he was gay. You were with him for how long and it never crossed your mind that your man might like other men? Really?

I'm glad he found his happiness and I hope this story has a happy ending for everyone involved.  I'm sure there are a lot of hurt feelings and confusion right now but I hope things get easier for him, his wife and his kids.

The customer is (not) always right

They say the 'customer is always right'...I have a feeling that almost anyone who has worked in customer service would disagree with this statement. And here are some things that customers do that make me seriously question that philosophy! Some of these are my own personal irrational pet peeves but I think some of these things would be enough to drive Mother Teresa or the Dali Lama crazy:

1. Asking for a plastic bag for a whole watermelon. 'Tis the season for watermelons. Can someone please explain to me why on earth you would need a bag for a watermelon? Some customers say it's easier to carry with a bag but the watermelon always rolls all over the place and then when you finally wrangle it into a bag the handles (inevitable) break (because plastic bags weren't really designed to hold watermelons), so you have to put the watermelon in a second plastic bag and most of the time the handles on that bag break--so it takes three plastic bags to hold one watermelon when it would be so much easier to just carry the damn thing!

2. People who talk to me like I'm an idiot. Please don't be condescending. A prime example of this is when people bring in their own insulated grocery bag and they shove the bag at you and say, 'Can you put all of the cold stuff together in this bag?' This (logically) happens a lot in the summer when people buy ice cream or other cold items that they want to keep cold on their way home. Now, wait a minute--do you mean to tell me that if I put the cold things all together in the insulated bag that will keep things cold longer? Is that why there is a picture of ice cubes on the side of the bag? Duh! Look, I'm certainly not a genius but I'm also not a total moron so please don't feel like you to explain the concept of keeping all the cold groceries together.

3. When a customer comes up to my line and says something like, "You looked bored so I thought I would give you something to do." Now, logically I know they are just trying to be friendly and make a little joke--and I always smile or laugh. But I recently started to realize that it bothered me a few Sundays ago. Generally, Sundays at the grocery store are a mob scene--everyone coming in to shop after church or coming in to shop before the work week or the school week starts. I had already worked 4 1/2 hours of a 6 hour shift. It was sort of late in the afternoon and things had slowed down for the first time all day--that lull when people are starting to get ready for dinner and before things pick up again alittle after dinner. It was the first chance all day I had to take a breather and a customer comes up with a smile on his face and says, "You look bored so I thought I'd give you something to do." I smiled and said hello. But what bothered me about the comment was that I had been on my feet all day, with lines of customers all day and I was tired...but here was this person who was standing there implying that I wasn't doing anything.

Two weeks notice

As I have gotten to know Chuck he has become one of my favorite co-workers. He's fun and has this crazy, hyper sort of energy so when you work with him he makes things fun and you'll have a few laughs. He's unpredicatable so you never really know what he's going to do or say next--and while that character trait might make me a little nervous in "real life" I like it when I'm working as a cashier (one of the most boring jobs on the planet). It keeps things interesting. He's been working as a cashier since he was a freshman in high school and now he's getting ready to graduate. Since I am also quite a bit older (I won't do the math about exactly how many years older I am) then Chuck I have sort of gotten to have this big sisterly concern for him. As his tells me stories about wild nights and (excessive) underage drinking I smile or laugh but always tell him to be careful! For the past few months he has been talking about how much he hates working at the grocery store. I sort of got the feeling that this was more then just normal 'I hate my job' type venting. It sort of became a running joke that he was quitting. So every time we worked together he would say, 'Today's my last day'. And I would roll my eyes and laugh and say, 'You're not allowed to quit.' So when I came into work the other day and Chuck said, 'This is it--I'm leaving in two weeks' I laughed and said, 'You say that all time.' He said, 'No, I really mean it.' And this time he was serious. This time he had really given his two weeks notice. He says he'll come back in and visit but even if he does visit, it won't be quite the same. So I'll definitely miss him but I'm also really excited for him. He's a creative, energetic 18 year old kid with so many options and unlimited possibilities. It's really nice to see someone move on to something better. Good luck, Chuck!

Just for laughs

"One morning I shot an elephant in pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know."

-Groucho Marx

Just say no

A while back I wrote about how working nights had (negatively) impacted my eating habits (and honestly, they were not all that great to start with). So, I vowed to be healthier and thought if I wrote about it I would feel more accountable. Well, it's about 6 months later and I thought I would give you an update about my progress. ok--there has actually been very little progress. Why is it so hard to change my bad eating habits? I will say that this time of year I do tend to eat more vegetables and salads because produce is so readily available. But it is still the late night snacking that is a problem. What is it about peanut M & Ms? For some reason when you take an M & M and stick a peanut in the middle I consider it health food. Ok, not really but it seems easier to rationalize eating peanut M & Ms then some of those other candies on the candy rack. So anyway, it's a work in progress. Some days I will have the power to just say no to the potato chips and some days I buy a chocolate chip muffin. I guess the bottom line is I still have a lot of work to do. So here I am renewing my pledge to just say no to midnight snacks! And luckily the store just raised the prices of almost all of the candy on the rack which makes it easier to pass it up.

Three strikes and you're out

When you first start work at the grocery store you have an orientation and you get a handbook with all the company policies and rules. If you do something that violates company policy while you're at work you can get written up. Being written up is sort of a warning or a slap on the wrist to say 'Don't do this again.' The cashier supervisor is the one who monitors the cashiers and baggers and writes people up. So when a cashier or bagger does something wrong it is completely left up to the discretion of the cashier supervisor if they write someone up or not. If you get written up three times the manager can take further disciplinary action--which can be anything from suspension to termination. All in all I think this is a pretty fair policy--unless it is abused by power-hungry people who let just a little, tiny bit of authority go to their head. This is why I dislike Barbara so much. Barbara is a cashier supervisor who has taken the little bit of authority she has at the grocery store and run amuk! She is a petty, ridiculous person. She writes people up for the most minor infractions. I work with this kid who had just washed his work shirt and after it came out of the wash he forgot to put his name tag back on. He came into work without his name tag and Barbara wrote him up. Now, I understand that it is the job of the cashier supervisor to make sure that all the cashiers and baggers are doing their job and complying with company policy but I also think you have to be flexible and recognize when someone has just made an honest mistake. I feel justified in saying this because I was actually a cashier supervisor when I worked at the grocery store in high school so I have a general idea about how it works. As a cashier supervisor I made sure people did their work but I was never nasty or petty about it. And I feel like pointing out to Barbara that she gets a feeling of authority from a job that a high school student is qualified to do. Is running around and making everyone around you miserable worth that small rush you get from feeling like you're in charge? I don't think so. Barbara hasn't written me up...yet. It's probably because I don't work with her very often--in fact I deliberately do everything possible to make sure I don't work with her. I have actually given away shifts because I looked at the work schedule and noticed that I would be working with Barbara. I decided I would rather lose money and keep (what's left of) my sanity!

Paper or plastic?

In observance of Earth Day I wanted to write about something really easy you can do to "Go Green" when you are grocery shopping. A really simple thing you can do is to use reusable shopping bags when you go shopping. I keep a few cloth bags in my car so when I go shopping I have the bags with me already. Now this is not to say that I don't use plastic bags when I bag my groceries at the store but I try to fill them as full as I can so I only use as many as I need. Also, I never throw my plastic bags away when I get home. I save them and reuse them the next time I need a bag for something. So next time you're at the store and you're trying to decide 'paper or plastic' here are a few of the environmental pros and cons of both.

Paper Bags:

3 pros

1. Paper bags hold more--which means you get more groceries into each bag and use fewer of them.

2. Paper is biodegradable--if you compost paper it will break down and go from paper to a rich soil nutrient over a period of a couple months. (www.greenhouseneutralfoundation.org).

3. Paper bags are sturdier--Ever leave the grocery store with a plastic bag full of groceries only to have the handle break or the plastic tear on your way to the car? Or throw your plastic bags full of groceries into the back seat of your car and by the time you get home half of the groceries have spilled out? This doesn't seem to happen as often with paper bags because they are studier and stand upright.

3 cons

1. Environmental impact--It takes a lot of trees to make paper bags so paper bags contribute to mass deforestation which results in destroying the habitat of all the plants and animals that live in the forest. (www.greenhouseneutralfoundation.org) It can take over a century for nature to recover from even a small logging operation. (www.angelfire.com).

2. Recycling paper bags requires a process that

3. It requires a great deal of energy, chemicals and other resources to make paper and paper bags. The pulp is made from logs that have been dried and striped of bark and then the pulp is washed and bleached. This process requires thousands of gallons of clean water. (www.angelfire.com).


Plastic Bags:
3 pros
1. The process for recycling plastic is easier and requires less energy then the process for recycling paper. To recycle almost any kind of plastic it merely needs to be remelted and reformed. The remelting process will sterilize the plastic and it can reformed and reused many times over before it becomes brittle. (www.angelfire.com)

2.

3 cons

1. Plastic bags are typically made from oil, a nonrenewable resource. Plastics are a by-product of the oil-refining process, accounting for 4% of oil production around the globe. (www.greenhouseneutralfoundation.org)

2. Enviornmental impact--20% of the plastic bags used are not properly disposed of so they end up as debris and litter. Plastic bags that end up in the ocean cause a threat to marine life, when it's ingested it causes damage to ocean animals digestion. (www.enviroliteracy.org)

3.
So the next time you're asked "Paper or plastic" consider some of the pros and cons of both and make the decision that makes the most sense for you. Or better yet bring your own reusable bags!