I had just finished working 8:00 'til midnight--it was only a four hour shift but trust me that was long enough! At midnight I was ready to get the hell out of there! I have driven back home from work at midnight so many times I could practically do it in my sleep (and trust me sometimes I almost have--but safetey first people!) So I was sort of on autopilot driving home and maybe what happened next was inevitable.
I was coming up to a red light (that was red even though there were no other cars coming in that direction!) so I slowed down, stopped, sat there and waited for it to turn green. It turned green and I started driving. As I was crossing through the intersection I noticed two things--and I'm honestly not sure in what order I noticed these things. 1)I had my high beams on and 2)a cop car coming the other way had stopped, done a (very sudden) U-turn in a parking lot and was now following me (very closely). At first when he didn't turn on the flashing lights right away I thought, 'Maybe I'm o.k.' I kept going straight, he kept going straight. I turned right, he turned right (very closely) behind me. I came up to another traffic light and right as I approached it it changed from green to yellow (Damn it!) But not wanting to give the cop any reason to pull me over I sat there as the light changed from yellow to red. The light turned green. I went straight through the light with the cop car still right on my ass. I looked around frantically for a speed limit sign (funny, I drive on this road practically every day and I wasn't even sure what the speed limit was). It was one of those parts of the road that went from 25 mph in one spot to 40 mph. I thought I was safe...but nooooo! As I was driving straight all of a sudden I saw the flashing lights of the police car behind me. Shit! Shit! Shit! My mind was racing (as fast as it could at midnight). What had I done? Well as it turns out, according to the police officer, the question should have been what hadn't I done. So the officer approaches the car waving a flashlight around as I rolled down the window. He flashed the flashlight around the back seat of the car and into my face. After introducing himself he asked to see my license and registration. "It's in the backseat in my purse. Is it ok if I get out to get it?" "Sure." he said. As he took it I asked if everything was ok. He said, "I was just about to ask you the same thing. First, you blinded me with your headlights back there (which was ironic because he had just blinded me with his flashlight-so I figured that made us even), then when you made your right hand turn you crossed over the median and you were going 37 in a 25 mph zone." Fuck! With all of these alleged (even though I admit nothing) traffic violations this guy was going to throw the book at me! And in my defense I am normally a pretty good driver (but I guess everyone thinks they are a pretty good driver, don't they)--so if I did any of these things it was just because having a cop tailing me at midnight on my way home from work tends to make me nervous. It's very distracting and disconcerting!
As I handed over my license and registration he must have noticed my work clothes and he asked, "Are you coming from work?" "Yeah." I said as I nodded and tried to smile. I was trying to be as friendly and cooperative as possible. I didn't want to be sarcastic or antagonistic but I was thinking, 'Well, what the fuck else would I be doing in my work uniform at midnight?' I mean it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure out that I was probably either coming from or going to work. He said I could get back in the car and wait while he ran my license. I managed to hold it together until I got back in the car. Then I lost it--and this was not girl-trying-to get-out-of-a-traffic-ticket-fake-crying. This was legitimate, real crying because (like many of you out there) my budget is a very delicate ecosystem--like the Amazonian rainforest or the Alaskan tundra--the slightest little thing throws it all out of wack. I could not afford to pay some ridiculous traffic ticket! If I got a traffic ticket it would have been like I had just worked for free because any money I had just made would have gone toward paying the ticket. I hate that my budget is so tight there's no room for emergencies or unexpected expenses.
But I digress. So the cop came back to my car a few few minutes later and I said, "Everything checks out." Again, I sat there wondering,'Like what the fuck wouldn't have checked out?' Then the most amazing thing happened. He told me to have a good night and drive safe. No ticket! No traffic citation! Not even a warning--unless you count him telling me to drive safely! As he walked away I managed to say thank you (in a tone I imagine was a mixture of relief, tiredness and maybe a little disbelief). And I can't help but think in this case it might have been the hideous, ugly work uniform that saved me! I suspect that he might have originally pulled me over because he thought I was intoxicated (drunk, high, whatever) but when he saw I was coming from work he figured I was not drunk, just tired and he let me go. So it should releive all of you to know I wasn't drunk, I'm just a bad driver.
Anyway, alls well that ends well.
Take care, happy shopping and drive safe!
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