Up in smoke...

So here is the deal...when you work you for four hours or more you get one paid 15 minute break.  If you work 7 hours you get a half an hour 'meal' break.  That's seems pretty straight forward and simple, right?

But what if you smoke?  If you smoke not only do you get your paid 15 minute break but you can also go outside for a cigarette (or two) during your shift.

To be fair most of the time they will only go outside for a cigarette if it is really, really slow so I have never really minded this until the other night when I was working as a cashier.  Here's what happened...when I first got into work I talked to the manager and he told me there was a mistake on the schedule and that there were two cashiers scheduled until midnight.  It was me and one other kid, Luke.  The manager told me that since I was the 'extra' cashier I could stay until 10:00.  So I said sure, no problem and was pretty happy to get out of there before midnight.  Luke and I both started at 7:00.  Around 8:00 Carrie and Luke were talking and they asked me if  I wanted to stay until midnight and Luke would leave at 10:00.  I told him it didn't really matter to me either way (especially since I had originally planned on being there until midnight anyway) and Luke sort of hinted that he had plans and he wanted to leave early.  I was a little disappointed that I was stuck there until midnight. but I did need the hours and figured it wasn't that big of a deal.  So Luke came in at 7:00 p.m and was leaving at 10:00.  That's just three hours.  At around 9:00 or 9:30 he went outside for a cigarette break.  Which I normally would not have minded at all except that meant I was the only register open.  It was a pretty warm summer night and during the summer it seems that people tend to put off their grocery shopping until later at night.  So it got really busy and I'm there all by myself while Luke gets to chill outside having a cigarette.  I'm not saying that Luke's isn't entitled to a break while he's working but it shouldn't be while it's busy and I think if you only work for three hours you should be able to suck it up without a break.  I work 5 or six hour shifts without getting a break pretty often.  So I was thinking you have less then an hour left of work--you couldn't make it? 

So that got me to thinking that the whole thing really isn't fair--certain people get to duck outside in addition to the break they already get while the rest of us are stuck inside, you know, actually working.  So (and I know I am not the first person to say this) it seems like I am basically being punished for not smoking? 

Political Science

No one likes us,
I don't know why.
We may not be perfect
But heaven knows we try.
And all around,
even our old friends put us down.
Let's drop the big one,
See what happens.

We give them money,
but are they are grateful?
No! They're spiteful and they're hateful.
They don't respect us,
so let's surprise 'em.
We'll drop the big one,
And pulverize 'em.

Asia's crowded,
Europe's too old.
Africa is far too hot,
And Canada's too cold.
South America stole our name.
Let's drop the big one,
They'll be no one left to blame us.

We'll save Australia,
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroos.
We'll build an all-American amusement park there,
They got surfin', too.

Boom goes London,
Boom Paree' (Paris).
More room for you,
More room for me.
And every city the whole world 'round,
Will just be another American town.
Oh, how peaceful it will be,
We'll set everybody free.
You'll wear a Japanese kimono babe,
There'll be Italian shoes for me.

They all hate us anyhow,
So let's drop the big one now.

Let's drop the big one now.

Lyrics and music by: Randy Newman

Hitchin' a Ride (Part II)

It was a nice day in the summer and I had made plans to hang out with my sister.  She lives in the city and we planned for me to meet her at the train station in the city and from there were gonna head to A.C to sit on the beach for a bit, soak up some sun and cruise along the boardwalk.  Whenever I go into the city I take the train for a few reasons.

1) I don't want to fight traffic and pay for parking.  (and I figure by the time I pay for gas and parking a train ticket is cheaper)
2) It's green!  I feel like I'm being more environmentally friendly when I use public transportation
3) As you read yesterday my car is not in the best shape right now.

By the time we got back from A.C I caught the 10:30 (something) train in the city and was headed back home.  The train ride lasts about an hour.  It had been a fun but long day so as the train rolled along I found I could barely keep my eyes open--they felt superglued shut.

After a while the train came to a stop and I managed to open my eyes just enough to squint out the window and I saw that I am almost at my stop.  The station where I parked my car is close to my house and close to the grocery store, too.  As I tried to wake my self up I glanced across the isle and saw someone looking at me.  I realized it was Miguel, one of the guys from the night crew at the grocery store.  He is from Mexico and barely speaks English.  He smiled, pointed at me and "Philadelphia."  I nodded.  I glanced at my watch--by now it was close to 11:30--I'm pretty sure he should have been an work about an hour and half ago (but I'm not really sure).  The train was quickly coming up to my stop and my mind started racing.  I know that his train stop is a few stops after mine and there is a side of me that knows the decent, "right" thing to do is to offer this guy a ride to the grocery store so that he won't have to walk from the train station to work.  It's what I have been taught by my dad and grandparents to do--help people out when they need help.  They have shown me, by example, the importance of doing whatever you can to help people.  So it should have been a no-brainer--but it wasn't.

All I kept thinking about was having to get in through the passenger's side door and climb over to the driver's side.  My logic told him he probably wouldn't have cared--he would have just been grateful for the ride, but it was really, really embarrassing.  I pictured him laughing as I climbed into the drivers seat.  (This is really shallow of me--because it is really funny and if he was laughing I should have been laughing my ass off right along with him!)  I'm really fortunate to have a car and the bottom line is it's a pretty funny situation to have a car that you have to climb in and out of (it could have been worse, I guess--it could have been 'Dukes of Hazzard' style).  My other (very flimsy) excuse is that I was just so tired--I felt like I could barely stay awake long enough to drive myself home let alone drive Miguel to the grocery store.

Like I said, it should have a been a no-brainer, but it wasn't.  The train came to my stop.  I gave Miguel a small smile, waved and got off the train.  I have felt really bad about it ever since.  In my defense he is a slightly creepy and definitely annoying guy but I should have helped him out.  It was a situation that had a simple solution but I made it awkward by not doing the right thing.  Miguel sometimes still points at me, smiles and says, 'Philadelphia'.   Which I'm pretty sure translates to something like, "You are the bitch that wouldn't give me a ride to work when we were both on the same train."

Hitchin' a Ride (Part I)

I love driving.  The freedom of the open road.  Cruising along the highway at 80 miles per hour with a good song playing on the radio.  The wind in my hair.  Actually, scratch the wind in my hair because the driver's side window of the car is broken--it goes down but it won't go back up again.

Ahhh--but the freedom of the open road comes with a hefty price tag.  Gas money.  Car insurance.  Vehicle Registration.  And once a year the state inspection and emissions test.  So when it was time for my annual car inspection I decided the cheapest option was Pep Boys.  But apparently my car was so old (it's a 1995) that they didn't have the equipment in their shop to do the emissions test there.  The guy at the shop told me they could do the state inspection but I would have to get the emissions test done somewhere else.  So I found a small local auto mechanic that had the right machine to do the emissions test on my "ancient" car.  I dropped the car off off, came back about 1/2 an hour later, paid for the emissions test, picked up the car and drove away.

As I was driving down the street I noticed the drivers side window was down (see note above about broken driver's side window).  When I got home I tried to put the window back up but it was off the track and I could only get it 3/4 of the way back up.

Well the window had been broken before and my dad had fixed it so I asked him if he would mind taking a look at it again.  He said sure.  Well, to make a long story short (I know--too late) my dad got the window to go back up but in order to fix it he had to take the car door off the track--I'm not really sure why but that's what happened.  When he was done working on it the door didn't line up with the track so it wouldn't close properly.  So now every time I get into the car I have to get in front passenger side and climb over to the driver's seat.  If anyone ever sees me climbing across the front of the car they must wonder what the hell I'm doing.

Now what does this have to do with work?  Stay tuned.

It's a mystery to me

We have started having mystery shopping come into the store.  I'm sure 99% of you are familiar with the concept of the mystery shopper--they basically walk through the entire store with a sort of checklist they are given.  They give the store a total number of points out of 100 based on how many things on the checklist that were done while they were shopping.

Why is my boss a douchebag?

Does anyone else every ask themselves, 'Why is my boss such a tremendous douchebag?'  It's not just me is it?  I have talked a little about the customer service manager Scott--he's a cool, chill, funny guy and we generally get along pretty well.

Then, on the other end of the spectrum is the store manager--Arnold.  And he is a jerk--not to mention that I think he looks like Chief Wigum from the Simpsons.  I'm sorry I typed that before I could stop myself--it was like writers touretts.

Anyway,  luckily I don't have to work with him much because he works during the day and I work nights so by the time I get there Arnold is long gone.  So I really haven't had too much interaction with him but the few times I have worked with him on the weekends it hasn't been pleasant.

Like one Sunday I was coming into work and I went to the time clock to punch in for work--you know like every employee is supposed to before they start working (duh).  Hank, another cashier, was right in front of me punching in and I was standing right behind him waiting for him to finish (just to give you an idea this whole process of punching in or punching out when you're leaving takes like 2 seconds).  When Arnold walks up to me and goes (while I am standing right in front of the time clock), "Can you punch in, like right now, because the front end is really busy."  in a kind of tone like he is exasperated that he has to explain such a simple concept to me.

In my head I went on rant.  I was having a whole conversation in my head about what I would say to Arnold if he wasn't me boss.  It went something like this--"Ohhhhh is that what you do you when you are standing in front of the time clock?  You punch in for work?  No effing way!  I mean really asshole--when I'm standing right in front of the time clock at the beginning of my shift--what the hell else would I be doing if I wasn't getting ready to punch in for work?  I was simply waiting those 2 whole seconds until Hank was finished punching in."  Not to mention the fact that I started work at 12:00 and was punching in at 11:55.  I was punching in early anyway you douchebag.  And in my imagination he just stood there staring at my--his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish but no real words coming out.

But I just took a deep breath, and said, "sure." and went downstairs and went to work.  Sigh.  

It's not a purse

This may be a slightly dated reference but are there any Seinfeld fans out there?

There was a man who came through my line the other day.  It was a normal order and at the end of his order I gave him the total and I watched as he picked up a bag and took his wallet out it.  I don't know what else I can call it but a man purse--it wasn't a shoulder bag, it wasn't a manly satchel bag, it wasn't even a fanny pack--it was a legitimate purse.  I sort of glanced around to see if there was a woman with him to see if maybe he was holding the purse for a wife or girlfriend.  Nope, he was solo.

I thought of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry gets tired or carrying his wallet and all sorts of other stuff in his pockets so Elaine gets him a "man bag" from J-Peterman.  Elaine insists it's not a purse, it's a 'European carry-all'.  Jerry starts carrying this bag around which looks like a purse.  His girlfriend even convinces him to carry around her lipstick in the bag because she doesn't have any pockets.

Don't get me wrong--I don't mind the whole metrosexual thing and I like guys who are comfortable in their masculinity but I really think there's no need for guys to carry a purse.  Do you agree?

Anyway, so as he put his wallet back into his man purse, I thought to myself, I not a purse it's a European carry-all.