Time flies (whether you're having fun or not)

It had absolutely been one of those days.  I had checked my bank account balance and had something like 17 cents left in my checking account to last until the next pay day.  Then I checked the mail and I had a stack of bills that I sorted through knowing that I couldn't possibly pay all of them.  I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry or scream or tear my hair out but I couldn't do any of those things because I had to go to work.  So I put on a "brave face" and went into work.

(As usual) I got there pretty early and I was sitting in the break room and there were some other cashiers sitting upstairs talking about when they started working at the grocery store and how long we had been there.  I quickly noticed a common theme in all of our cashier stories--everyone thought they would just take the job at the grocery store for just a little while but they had ended up working there for years.  Rich had started working at the grocery store at the very beginning of his senior year in high school...now 5 years later he was a senior in college and he was still there.  Maria started working at the grocery store when she was a sophomore in high school.  It was her first job and she had just sort of stayed.  Now, a little over two years later she had graduated high school and still working at the grocery store.  Ben said he had been there for six years.  He had been going to college for criminal justice but for a variety of reasons he wasn't able to finish school and has been a cashier working nights ever since.  He said, 'You better be careful because you don't want to end up being here for six years like me."  I think he felt a real sense of sadness or surprise at the passage of time.  I myself was amazed at how quickly the time had gone.  Like all the others, I assumed the grocery store was a temporary measure for me--it was supposed to be a financial bandaid while I looked ofr a full time job...but it had been a year and counting.  I had been there long enough to have an anniversary and an annual review.  It got me thinking about how easy it was to become comfortable or complacent in a routine--you just stay where you are and end up in a rut.  But I decided that this talk we were having was just the thing I needed to motivate me.  Right then and there I decided to put all of my energy into finding a job that would be more like a career!

After sitting there and listening to everyone talk I knew I needed to get off my ass...it was time for me to stop whining about how hard it was to find a job, it was for time for me stop feeling sorry for myself, and it was time for me to stand on my own two feet and find a career.  And of course I have been looking for jobs but I had just sort of been submitting my resume into cyberspace without having any idea about where it was ending up.  I hadn't really been following up after I submitted my resume and I have been e-mailing a very general resume that wasn't getting responses so I knew I needed to put time in to revising it.  

So over the next week or two I decided I would document the ups and downs, the laughter and tears of searching for a job.  And I would love to hear from you guys too (if you're out there and reading this).  If you have any job search ideas or interview tips pass them on!  Or are you already working at your dream job?  How did you land it?  To those of you out there who are currently hunting for a job (and there are lots of us out there) share your story too!

Wish me good luck on the job hunt--because I know I'm gonna need it!

10 Years Later

One of the things I like about working in the grocery store is getting to work with so many different types of people. Talking with people who are so much older or younger than I am gives me a chance to see things from a variety of different perspectives. Saturday marked the 10th anniversary of 9/11 and I was talking to Billy about what he remembers about the events of that day. He is 17 years old now and was only in first grade in September, 2001. That just seems unbelieveable to me. In some ways it seems like it was just yesterday. I still remember vividly that my college roommate called to me from the living room. She said something like, "Come here quick." I was awake (but just barely) and I was about to get up and get ready to go to my astronomy class (which I found interesting but was really bad at). I was sort of startled by the tone in her voice and I got up pretty quickly and went into the living room where she was watching t.v. We were watching the plane crashing into the first tower. In other ways it seems like a hazy day that happened a long time ago. I asked Billy if he had fully understood what had happened when he heard the news. He sounded slightly offended and said, "Yeah, of course." "Because I was a college student when it happened and I could barely process it." I told him. I remember watching the images and news coverage and I was kind of numb and in denial for the first 1/2 hour or so. I kept thinking there had been some sort of mistake or I had seen a clip from a new action movie. I still don't understand how there could be that much pure hatred in the world--such hatred that the death of thousands of innocent people and mass destruction is planned and carried out. How could Billy or any other 7 year old understand that? It occurred to me that Billy and kids his age all across the country grew up in a different reality. I couldn't help but wondering if they were robbed of a sense of security. I feel like things were much simplier when I was in first grade. I grew up feeling safe and secure--swimming with the neighborhood kids and playing tag. Maybe feeling that way is a natural consequence of getting older--you think times were simplier or things were better and safer when you were a kid.

Finding your voice

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out--because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out--because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out--because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me--and there was no one left to speak for me.

-Martin Niemoller

Walkin' After Midnight

In the category of, 'this could only happen to me. . ." So it was a usual Friday night.  I worked until midnight.  It was only a four hour shift but it felt like a lot lonnnnggeer then that.  Finally, finally, finally it was midnight and I was out of there--the moment I had waited for all week.  I went (more like bolted) upstairs to the breakroom, punched out, put my coat on and grabbed my purse.  (As I think many of you girls out there can relate to) I have a bottomless pit for a purse.  I put stuff in there and it seems to get sucked into a black hole.

At first when I couldn't find my keys I wasn't too worried.  As I kept digging some more around at the bottom of my purse I got a little annoyed.  Hmmm...I couldn't find my keys in purse.  So I checked my jacket pockets--nope my keys weren't there.  I looked through my purse again and I still couldn't find my damn keys.  Now I was starting to get worried.  They definitely weren't in my purse and they weren't in my jacket pockets so where the hell could they be?  Then, (unfortunately) it dawned on me where they were...they were in my car.  Crossing my fingers that I hadn't locked the car door, I put on my jacket, grabbed my stuff and went out to the car.  I peered in the window and sure enough there were my car keys--sitting right where I had left them, on the driver's seat.  I pulled the door handle...locked (but you figured that out already, right?)

So, here I was...standing in the parking lot of the grocery store locked out of the car.  The night crew guys were standing outside smoking--so I walked back to the store and sheepishly told them I had locked myself out of my car.  I laughed a little about how stupid I was and asked any of them if they had any ideas about breaking into the car.  Nope.  I tried calling a few people but it was after midnight and noone was answering their phones--either because it was Friday night and they were out or because they were asleep.  I left a few voicemails and waited for a few minutes in case anyone called back.  Keith, the night manager, asked what was going on and I explained that I was locked out of my car and waiting to see if anyone I had called would call back.  "Oh."  he said.  He took a quick look at the car and said he wouldn't be able to break in for me.  He also said he would have offered to drive me home but he couldn't leave the store.  At that point I was still sort of holding out hope that one of the people I had called would get my message and call back.  I said, "No, that's ok.  Don't worry about it."  I stood around for a few minutes staring at my cell phone and trying to figure out what to do.  

By this time it was close to 12:30 and faced with limited options I decided I wasn't just going to stand around all night and that I was going to have to just suck it up and walk home.  Keith saw me getting ready to leave and he asked what I was going to do.  "I'm going to walk home."  I responded, much in the same tone I would have used if I had burned myself and he asked my why I was putting ice on it.  "You are not seriously going to walk home."  he said.  "Well, there's really nothing else I can do."  I responded tartly, because it had become readily apparent to me that Keith was not going to do anything to help me.  And I'm as much of a feminist as the next chick but a whole night crew full of guys and not one of them offered to help?  "Well, I guess I could take you home."  he said hesitantly, but he stood rooted to the spot where he was standing and it was obvious from the tone of his voice that he wasn't really willing to leave the store.  Maybe I was just being stubborn because I do think that he would have driven me home at that point if I had pressed the issue but I just knew it wasn't a sincere offer to help.  "No, don't worry about it--I'll just walk", I told him quickly.  And with that I marched away from the store and out of the parking lot with as much pride and determination as I could muster under the circumstances.  "Call the store when you get home and let me know you got there ok."  Keith called after me.  I shook my head, kept walking and resisted the urge to give him the finger.

I walked the approximately three miles back to my house at 12:30 in the morning and with each step I took I became more and more angry with myself for being so stupid and frustrated with Keith for being such an asshole.  I understand he is the manager of the store and he can't just leave the store unattended--that is corporate policy.  But it seems to me that sometimes there are extenuating circumstances.  I also understand that it wasn't his fault that I was a dumbass and I locked my car keys in the car.  But I just don't understand what kind of person lets someone walk home by themselves in the middle of the night.  It took my over an hour and half to walk home--it would have taken him about 15 minutes to drive me there and get back to the store.  If you have the ability to help someone why would you not do it?  Am I being unreasonable here?  Or was Keith an asshole?  Or a little bit of both?  Maybe it was Karmic payback for times in the past when I could have helped someone but I didn't--like the time I could have/should have offered Miguel a ride to work but didn't.

But all's well that ends well...I walked home (good exercise), crawled into bed, slept like a baby and we went with the spare key and unlocked the car door the next day.

On the other side...

I was out runnning errands the other day.  It got to be around 5:30 or 6:00 and I was on my way home but I figured on the way back home I would swing by the grocery store and pick up a few things for dinner.  As someone who has both worked at grocery stores and been a customer at grocery stores I can tell you that from around 5:00 until maybe 6:30 or 7:00 there is a pretty steady rush of people.  People on their home from work are picking up things for dinner or they are running in to get stuff for kids lunches for the next day or they have realized they are out of something at home and swing by the pick it up while they are out.  I'm sure most of you have experienced this first hand when you have driven past your local grocery store on the way home from work and thought "Oh, I'll just run in and grab a loaf of bread or I'll just grab some milk."  You run in for two things and get stuck waiting in line of 3 or 4 people. 

So I went in and grabbed my spaghetti and pasta sauce.  I was expecting it be busy (which is was) but what I was not expecting was that there would only be 2 registers open and 1 of them was the express lane.  That meant that for everyone shopping who had over 15 items there was only one register. 

First, let me tell you that this is just as frustrating for us as cashiers as it is for you as customers.  We don't like to look up and see tons of people waiting in line (some waiting patiently...others not so patiently).  So on this particular day I was a customer--standing in line with 2 items and wondering why there were only 2 registers open when practically everyday around this time there is a rush of customers.  It seems like poor customer service to me--when you know that it is going to be busy at a certain to not schedule enough people to work. 

It is the cusotmer service manager who generally does the scheduling for the front end and I will say in his defense that poor scheduling is not always the manager's fault.  Each department is given a certain number of hours for the week

Workin' 9:00-5:00

After lots (and lots...and lots...and lots) of searching I finally found a full time job at a really nice office!  Yay!  Now here's the part that surprised me the most--even after I got a full time job I still plan on staying at the grocery store.  You may be wondering why, after all the bitching, I didn't quit the grocery store when I got a full-time job.  Here's the major reason--my car is a 1996...and it is exhausted.  Get it?  Car?  Exhausted?  Ha!  Yeah the car is really falling apart (those of you who have read some of my earlier posts know that my car problems are well documented) and it is going to the big highway in the sky any day now.  So I got to thinking that if I stayed at the grocery store for a while longer I could save up money for a new car--or at least a car that would be new to me.  So I am going to work 2 or 3 nights a week and those paychecks can be my 'New Car Fund'.  Also, you never know what is going to happen--just as quickly as you get a full time job things could change.  I'm so excited to have a full time job with a steady paycheck but I guess being at the grocery store will remind me not to take anything for granted. 

I always sort of assumed that the second I got a full-time job I would leave the grocery store faster then but I haven't quit.  Well, at least not yet.  I don't know how long I'm going to do both but at least for now I'm gonna give it a shot and be grateful for 2 paychecks. 

Pass the Purell, please

As we are heading into cold and flu season I have gotten to thinking about sickness and germs.

Working with the public = germs.  Generally I am not a germophobe at all but even I have my limits.

First of all dealing with paper money is a germapoloza.  Think about how many different hands money goes through