Laughing all the way to the bank?

Since I have started working at the grocery store I have generally had a pretty consistent schedule. I would normally work about 4 nights a week and they were normally the same 4 nights a week...sometimes there would be a week when I would work a little less or sometimes I would pick up an extra shift--and that's to be expected when you only work part time. My schedule even remained pretty consistent during the holidays. So imagine my surprise when I recently went in to check my upcoming schedule and I only worked 4 hours--I only worked one day that week. You start to run through all the possible reasons in your head. Did I do something wrong? Maybe it's because the holidays are over and things at the grocery store have slowed down. I went in to check my schedule the next week and I was up to 15 hours--which was (sort of) better. The next week I was down to 8 hours. One part of me says that I hate being at the grocery store and the less time I have to spend there the better. I try to enjoy the time off but then pay day comes, my paycheck sucks and reality sets in. The reality, of course, being that there are bills to pay--which is why I have kept this crappy job in the first place. As a part time cashier I can go from having 20 hours one week to 4 hours the next week--which is a pretty big difference. It becomes very difficult to financially plan and budget when your paycheck varies so much from week to week. One week my paycheck could be enough to cover some bills and the next week I could be checking the ash tray in the car for spare change. But either way I guess working at the grocery store has never exactly had me laughing all the way to the bank!

Take care and happy shopping!

And now for something completely different. . .

When I get home from work (a little after midnight) I love watching old, "classic" t.v sitcoms from the '70s, 80's, and 90's on T.V Land and the Hallmark channel. Some of my favorites are Golden Girls, Who's the Boss?, The Simpsons, Three's Company, Seinfeld--and in my opinion one of the best sitcoms (if not the best) of all time, All in the Family. So this got me thinking about some of the best t.v theme songs. So, in my humble opinion these are the top 5 t.v show theme songs (in no particular order) because they are fun and catchy. Anybody agree/disagree or are there any that you think are missing from the list? Or do you think that I just watch way too much t.v? Because that thought did cross my mind.

1. Cheers

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go-
Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
Our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows your name

You wanna go where people know,
People are all the same,
You wanna go where everybody knows your name.2.

2. All in the Family Best. sitcom. Ever.

Boy the way Glen Miller played,
Songs that made the hit parade.
Guys like us they had it made,
Those were the days.
And you knew who you were then,
Girls were girls and men were men.
Mister we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again.
Didn't need no welfare state,
Everybody pulled his weight.
Gee our old Lasalle ran great,
Those were the days!

3. Gilligan's Island--such a classic!

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
a tale of a fateful trip.
That started from this tropic port
aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty salin' man,
The Skipper brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day,
for a three hour tour.
A three hour tour.
The weather started getting rough,
the tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew,
The Minnow would be lost.
The Minnow would be lost.
The ship set ground on the shore of this,
uncharted desert isle.
With Gilligan, The skipper, too.
The millionaire. And his wife.
The movie star.
The professor and Mary Ann.
Here on Gilligan's Isle.

So this is the tale of our castaways,
they're here for a long, long time.
They'll have to make the best of things.
It's an uphill climb.
The first mate and his skipper too will do their very best,
to make the others comfortable in their tropic island nest.
No phone, no lights, no motor car, not a single luxury.
Like Robinson Crusoe,
It's primitive as can be.
So join us here each my friends,
you're sure to get a smile from seven stranded castaways.
Here on Gilligan's Isle!

4. Golden Girls

Thank you for being a friend.
Travel down the road and back again.
Your heart is true
You're a pal and a confidant.
And if you threw a party,
Invited everyone you knew,
You would see the biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say,
Thank you for being a friend!

5. The Office/The Simpsons--these t.v show theme tie for 5th (is that cheating?) even though they don't have any lyrics. Every time I hear The Office theme it makes me smile and I think The Simpsons theme has become sort of iconic t.v. Whenever you hear it you just picture Bart skate boarding his way through Springfield on his way home from school.

(In)security cameras

So it's really no secret that there are surveillance cameras throughout the grocery store--in fact I think they are hoping if people know security cameras are there it will deter them from stealing or whatever other criminal things they might be thinking of. But to be honest I never gave the cameras much thought. After all I'm not stealing, I don't sell cigarettes to customers who are underage and I don't give my friends or other people free groceries (well, not on purpose anyway--but that's a story for another day) so why would I worry about the security cameras? Also, the bookstore where I used to work had security cameras but none of the managers ever played back any of the tapes and I heard from someone that after a certain amount of time the cameras got reset and recorded over old footage anyway. Well, the other night one of the night managers came up and asked me a question about one of the customers who had been in the store shopping a few nights ago. I said I was sorry but I didn't really remember anything in particular about that customer. Well image my surprise when the night manager said, "That's ok. I was watching the surveillance tapes and you went on break right after he came through your line so I didn't expect you to see much anyway." So I went back to whatever it was I had been doing (I think I was cleaning registers) but the conversation got me thinking. Now obviously he had watched the tapes relating to a specific incident and I wasn't involved in any way because I hadn't even been there but it got me thinking about the security footage in general. Who has access to these tapes (I'm pretty sure just the managers)? And how often do they watch them? Do they sit around on a regular basis and laugh at all the dumb shit people do when they think no one is watching?

So the more I thought about it I started to feel a bit self conscious and insecure. Like I said earlier--I don't do anything unethical or against company policy but I have to admit--I work until midnight and sometimes I get BORED! So if they watched the tapes back would they see me talking to myself once in while--it's quite possible. Would they see me singing and dancing if a song comes on the store that I like--yup, probably. What if I look fat on camera? (you know they say the camera adds 10 pounds). Or what if I have on a tight pair of underwear and it's riding up my ass...well, you get the idea. And sometimes (as I have mentioned before) I just sit around and do nothing but read magazines. So if any of the managers play back the security tapes hopefully I give them a few laughs and hopefully I don't do anything too embarrassing.

I'm not even supposed to be here today

Things just got off to bad start--I walked into work and I wasn't in a great mood to start with but I only had to work a four hour shift and I thought, "yeah I can handle that". I mean it's only 4 hours, right? Shirley had asked me to work for her and I kind of (wait no, not kind of--I really, really) didn't feel like going into work but she has always helped me out when I asked her to work for me and I needed the extra money so I told her I would work for her. I was scheduled to work from 7:00-11:00. Around 5:30 I got a call from work saying that someone had called out and asking if I could come in early. I asked when they needed me to come in and she was like, "Ummm, like, now?" I said I would be there as soon as I could but I didn't know if I could come in early. It turned out by the time I had taken a shower, gotten dressed and had dinner I got to work at 6:50. Right when I walked in Rose made some snarky, sarcastic comment like, "Oh, you're here--well thanks so much for coming in early." She was in a bitchy mood because she had gotten into a fight with her boyfriend and was taking it out on everyone around her by making everyone around her as miserable as she was (which was totally fair, right?). Right then I knew it was gonna be a loonnnngggg night! Then on top of that our time clock is computerized and if you try to clock in when you are not scheduled you have to get a manager to punch in for you so I went to the customer service desk and asked Rachel if she knew where the manager was. She said, "I think she's somewhere in the back of the store." Well, at this point there were two options. 1) I could wander all over the store looking for the store manager. or 2) Rachel could use the intercom to paige the store manager to ask her to come up to the customer service desk. Now call me crazy but it seems to me that the second option made more sense because the store manager would need to come up to the front of the store anyway because that's where the time clock is. All of this happened within the first few minutes I walked in and needless to say none of this helped to improve my mood. All I kept thinking was I'm not even supposed to be here today!

WTF?

The other day a guy I work with, Rich, told me he was scheduled to work on Saturday night but he couldn't work because he had plans and he asked if I would take his shift. I asked what time and he said 8:00-midnight. I decided I could postpone my exciting Saturday night plans of sitting at home eating ice cream in my pajamas. I figured I could use the extra money so I might as well pick up some extra hours. So I said, "Sure, no problem." Then on Saturday night about 5 minutes after 8:00 I was at my register when Rich came through my line to buy soda. So I asked him (trying to give him the benefit of the doubt) if he was on his way out somewhere and he said, "No, I just got back." Now I don't want to sound like a bitch here but--what the fuck?!? (or WTF as the kids say). I mean is it just me or if you said you couldn't work because you had plans why you show up to the place where you work 5 minutes after your shift was supposed to start?

Anyway, it all worked out o.k--I made a few extra bucks and Rich got the night off.

Two out of Three Ain't Bad

It was Saturday night and I was curled up wearing an over-sized t-shirt and pajama pants, sipping on a cup of tea, working on a puzzle and watching a Cheers marathon on t.v. I had a load of clothes that had just come out of the dryer and I had just made my bed so my sheets were all nice and warm. Overall I was pretty content. I was just considering taking a short nap when my cell phone rang. At first I didn't recognize the number that came up on the caller i.d, then when I looked at the number again I realized it was the grocery store's number. And I knew they weren't calling to talk about the weather or the latest episode of Glee. Every time they call it's because someone has called out of work and they want someone to come in to cover the shift. A few Saturdays ago Rose called and asked if I could come into work and after thinking about it for a minute I said, 'Sure. When?' And she said, 'Ummm, like, now?' I said I would be there. The next Saturday they called again and asked if I could come into work for a few hours and I said yes.

So now I had a decision to make. Did I answer the phone and get called into work or did I just let it go to voicemail? On one hand I needed the money. On the other hand I just didn't feel like having to drop everything I was doing (even if it was just working on a puzzle and watching t.v)and rushing into work. Anyway, I won't keep you in suspense--I decided to let it go to voicemail. I figured if they left a message and they really needed help I would go. I waited for a few minutes and there was no voicemail. About 20 minutes later they called back again. And I let it go to voicemail...again. Since there was no message, I didn't call back and I didn't go into work. I felt sort of guilty but I ended up spending a quiet night at home in my comfy pajamas and I figure the last two times they called me into work on very short notice on a Saturday night I had said yes--so I guess as Meatloaf says, two out of three ain't bad, right?

Couldn't have said it better myself...

"I wouldn't say I'm superstitious, but I'm a little-stitious."

She thinks she's funny, but she's not

I have a really good friend who is an English professor. At the end of each semester his students fill out (an anonymous) teacher evaluation form. One of the reasons the evaluations are done anonymously is so that the students can give an honest appraisal of the teacher's strengths and weaknesses and not be worried about a bad grade or "retaliation" from their teacher if they say something negative about the teacher or the class. On one of the evaluation forms one of his student's said, 'He thinks he is funny, but he is not.' Luckily, with his sense of humor in tact, my friend laughed and said he was going to frame that evaulation. But, I digress. Sometimes I think being a customer is sort of like giving an anonymous teacher evaluation. A customer thinks they can say whatever they want because there is a certain degree of anonymity in being a customer. If a customer is frustrated or upset about something, they sometimes feel like they can be nasty, yell, or vent their frustrations because the person working behind the counter (or at the restaurat or at the cash register) doesn't really know who they are. The customer knows they will very likely not run into the person again very soon so they say whatever they want. The other day a customer came through my line and her bill was $142. and change. She gave me a $100 bill and put the rest on her credit card. When a customer makes a "split" payment like that, our system (which is slightly outdated) will print out the credit slip for the customer to sign and then the receipt will print out and then the cash drawer will open (please notice the sequence of these events). So while I was waiting for her to sign the credit slip and waiting for the cash drawer to open I set the $100 bill down in front of me on the conveyor belt. She looked down at the cash and then looked at me and said something like, "I hope that $100 bill ends up in the cash drawer and not in "some one's"pocket." And she laughed. At first I sort of laughed...and then I thought about what she had just said. I admit it was a delayed reaction but the more I thought about it I was like, wait...what?!? I couldn't help but be sort of insulted. Did she just insinuate that I would pocket the money--and therefore that I was some sort of petty thief? And what did she think--I was going to pocket her $100 while she was standing right in front of me and then what? Was I gonna make a run for the border and live like a queen in Mexico with $100? I couldn't help but wonder would she have said something like that to a friend? Would she say that to a neighbor? Would she say that to a co-worker? And did she really think she was being funny? If she was trying to make a joke, I sure as hell didn't get it. So to borrow the comment from my friend's teacher evaluation--She thinks she's funny, but she's not!

Lions and Tigers and...Goats? Oh, my

"I think you'd better call 911." You never really want to have someone start a conversation like that, right? Now imagine it's 11:30 at night and you are the only cashier up front at the grocery store where you work. The other night a lady came up to my register looking slightly nervous. She stared at me for what seemed like a really long time, but was really only about 5 or 10 seconds, without saying anything. I was just about to ask her if I could help her with something when she said to me, "I think you better call 911." I stood there for a second as all the possible scenarios ran through my mind. I thought this woman was going to pass out right in front of me at my register. Or someone had slipped on a patch of ice out in the parking lot. Or there had been a car accident or some sort of fender bender in front of the store. Or two high school kids were fighting at the back of the store. But what she actually said next was not any of the scenarios that I thought about. So what she said was, "There are goats in the parking lot. I think they must have escaped from somewhere and I think you should call 911 because I'm afraid they're going to run out into the road." I certainly didn't want anything bad to happen to the goats but I have to admit my first thought was, you have got to be kidding me. Goats in the parking lot? I don't get paid enough to deal with goats in the parking lot at 11:30 at night. Then I thought, you don't call 911 for goats in the parking lot. But I followed the lady outside to the parking lot and at first I didn't see them. She looked around and she said, "They were there a minute ago. They were right behind my car." And that was one of the reasons I was so hesitant to call 911 in the first place--because I thought that by the time anyone got there the goats would be gone. I also considered calling animal control but it's not like the number to animal control is on speed dial on the phone at the grocery store and I also figured since it was so late no one would be there anyway. I scanned the parking lot looking for the goats and then I saw three little goats at the other end of the parking lot. "Oh, there they are." I pointed. "o.k well, I'll go tell my manager and she'll call someone." I told the lady. I went and told the manager (I know I was sort of passing the buck here) and she came outside with me to look but by the time she came outside we couldn't see them anymore. Last I knew the lady was in her car and she was trying to steer these poor little goats away from the road--which I fear may have done more harm then good--but who knows. I hope the goats got back "home" or ended somewhere safe and warm. So these are the late night adventures at a grocery store in Farm Country, USA.

Shelf Life

The other day at work I was facing the shelves--which in grocery language pretty much means taking groceries from the back of the shelf and moving them to the front of the shelf. And yes, it is absolutely, without question as boring as it sounds! It actually felt like some sort of punishment--being banished to the back of the store in complete isolation to rearrange the food on the shelves. Ok, maybe I'm being a little bit dramatic, and some people actually don't mind doing it because it's a mindless way to get paid for a few hours without any hassles. Anyway, there I was reaching my short little arms all the way to the back of the shelf and pulling boxes of Ritz crackers (or was it Doritos--I honestly don't remember what it was) and arranging them so they were all facing front and lined up on the edge of the shelf when I noticed that one particularly dusty box had a contest on it giving away tickets to the premier of Iron Man 2. Now for those of you who don't realize why this was sort of concerning (especially if you don't really pay attention to movie release dates)--Simply put--Iron Man 2 came out in May 2010 and now it's January 2011. Iron Man 2 was released as a summer blockbuster and now it was winter. This box had been sitting on the shelf for months and months. Now in all fairness it was just one box that seemed to have been pushed to the way back of the shelf and whoever stocks the shelves might have just overlooked it when they were restocking with new boxes.

It just got me wondering--how long does food stay on the grocery store shelf? Does it just sit there on the shelf collecting dust until someone buys it or does it eventually get sent back to the manufacturer? Does it just get thrown away? Obviously, with perishable items, (meat in particular) the items are marked down or go on special. But Doritos or Twinkies can last forever.

I have a dream

Today, as many of you know is Martin Luther King. To say that his words are powerful and inspiring seems like such an understatement.

So here is a small excerpt from his famous "I Have a Dream" speech given on August 28, 1963 on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trails and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storm of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us wallow in the valley of despair.

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulities of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the tru meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

Never lie to your mother

Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Ben's mother couldn't help notice how beautiful Ben's roommate, Jennifer, was. Ben's mother had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Ben and Jennifer, and the fact that they were now roommates had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Ben and Jennifer than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Ben volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.' About a week later Jennifer came to Ben saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?' Ben said, 'Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure.' So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mom,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner last week.

Love,

Ben

Several days later, Ben received an email back from his mother that read:

Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer was sleeping in her own bed she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love,

Mom

F.Y.I

So what do you do for money?

I like working with Shirley. She's nice and fun to talk to. The other day Shirley and I were talking about our schedules. She mentioned that she was working three nights that week. That was a lot for her because she also works full time during the day and had two kids that had various after school activities. She asked me what my schedule was like. I told her when I was working that week. "That's not a lot of hours." she said. "And you're still not working during the day, right?" No beating around the bush there. "No. I haven't gotten another job yet." I told her, feeling embarrassed. "So what are you doing for money?" She asked me. Trying to keep things light while at the same time conveying that I wasn't going to talk about money (or lack thereof) I laughed and said, "Well, I am a stripper during the day so I make some extra money that way." Shirley laughed and then a customer came up to her register so the subject (thankfully) was closed. So when she asked me that a few things ran through my mind at the same time. First thing--wow, that's rude and tactless. I mean, isn't that a bit like asking someone, "Wow, are you sure you can fit your fat ass into that size 2 dress?"  But I do understand that since she is a mother with bills and a mortgage payment maybe to her it seemed like a logical and practical question to ask--and it is. Secondly, the irony struck me that she was asking me what I did for money while I was at work. I mean it's not like I volunteer at the grocery store. I do work there. Sure it;s not a lot but I do get paid to be there. So while on one hand it was nice that she felt comfortable enough to ask and have a real conversation about work and finances, on the other hand it was a pretty personal question about my financial situation that was not really any of her business.

5 more Unemployment Benefits

Here are 5 more things to do until you get back to work:

6. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. I sort of believe that if your room, or your car, or your house is cluttered your mind is sort of cluttered, too. So if you're unemployed why not take some time to organize and de-clutter. When I lost my job at the law firm I spent an afternoon cleaning out my closets and drawers and dropped off a few bags of things to the Salvation Army/Good Will. I actually had some brand new stuff in my closet that had been there forever that still had tags on it that I wasn't ever going to wear so I donated it. It made my closet clutter-free and I hoped that the stuff I didn't use anymore would be put to good use by someone else. By getting ride of some of the excess material stuff I had accumulated, I ended up feeling (at least a little) more organized and clear-headed.

7. Do fun, free stuff. o.k I know this may sound both vague and obvious. But I guess what I mean is ask yourself what you enjoy doing and then ask yourself is there a way I can do this for free? For example, I really like to read. I used to go to book stores and buy books--now, I go to the library and check books out. I love shopping (and buying). Now, I head to the mall and window shop. (Although, I have to admit sometimes this one is a little depressing and it takes willpower not to actually buy anything). I also like to walk so I try to make an effort to head over to the park that is right by my house and spend some time outside getting some fresh air. Or ask yourself what can I do for free. Start by checking online or read your local newspaper to see what upcoming events are going on in your area. Some of them may be cheap or free.

8. Play Catch Up! Catch up on your sleep! I can't tell you how much I love an afternoon cat nap--but that tends to be frowned upon at the office--so it's nice when I feel tired at around 4:00 in the afternoon to shut off the computer, take a break from the job search, and curl up for a nap. I wake up feeling refreshed. How many of you out there were totally wiped out by Friday when you were doing the 9:00-5:00 or working two jobs? Well, now is a chance to curl up on the couch and take a nap in the middle of the day or to get a full eight hours and wake up mentally alert and ready to go! Or catch up on your reading! Do you have a stack of books sitting on the shelf that you have been wanting to read? Now's the time. Or catch up with old friends. If I have a few hours in the afternoon I take some time to send e-mails or texts to friends I haven't talked to in a while.

9. People watching--I enjoy going into a Starbucks or a Borders or a restaurant in the middle of the day and people-watching. I didn't really have a chance or the time to just take a break in the middle of the day before-whether it was to people watch or read a magazine or watch daytime t.v. (especially since it's the last season of Oprah's talk show).

10. Go back to school-now might be the time to consider going back to school whether it's because you're considering a career change or if you just want to learn more about a subject that has always interested you. So consider picking up a course catalogue from your local college since community colleges often have (relatively) cheap continuing education courses. I have always wanted to learn about photography techniques and how to develop pictures in a dark room. Now might be a good time to do that!

Now, I know not all of these suggestions are feasible for everyone who is unemployed. But for those of you out there who are in the unemployment boat I hope you found at least a few of these ideas to be helpful.

Unemployment Benefits

Some people may think that if you're unemployed you have a lot of extra time on your hands. I personally think that's sort of a misconception. Since I lost my job at the law firm I have actually been pretty busy...looking for a job! But all (searching for) work and no play makes Jack a dull boy so here are a few suggestions. Things to do if you are unemployed and have some extra free time. 1. Volunteer-Do you love animals? Think about volunteering at a local animal shelter. Do you like kids? Volunteer with Big Brother Big Sister or YMCA. Are you handy with tools? Get in touch with your local Habitat for Humanity. I think being unemployed can be kind of an isolating experience. During the day while friends and family are at work, I was left feeling sort of aimless. So I went online, found a local soup kitchen and signed up to volunteer. Volunteering has been a nice way to connect with other people. I decided that while I was unemployed I wanted to take the time when I wasn't working and turn it into something productive. For me personally, the benefits have been innumerable but here are the top three reasons volunteering has helped me while I search for a full time, "real" job. 1) It's rewarding to help other people. 2) It has provided a sense of structure and purpose to my day. I always try to be productive and keep busy because I don't like vast stretches of time with nothing to do. That being said it can be mentally exhausting just sitting in front of a computer revising your resume and doing the (seemingly) endless online job search. So it's a nice change of pace to wake up and spend a few hours volunteering. 3). It's a nice way to meet people. During the day there were times when I felt like I was the only unemployed person out there. Talking to some of the other volunteers I found that some of them were volunteering because they were unemployed and they wanted something productive to do during the day, too. So it was nice to talk to other people who were sort of in the same boat. We would talk about our job searches and upcoming job interviews. I also recently started hanging out with one of the volunteers--we started a sort of "restaurant club" so after we volunteer at the soup kitchen we pick a restaurant we have never been to before and go out to lunch. It's been fun trying new food! 2. Get a hobby-Now that you have some extra free time try to enjoy it--because hopefully, before you know it you'll be back to work! Now, of course, hobbies can vary greatly depending on your budget, ranging from free to however much you want to spend. I (as you can tell if you're reading this) started writing more often. It's a great, creative hobby that doesn't cost a thing! I have also started doing jigsaw puzzles. I started out with a 500 piece puzzle and have worked my way up to 1,000 piece puzzles (my sister got me one for Christmas that I am--slowly--working on). Does this count as a legitimate hobby? I'm not sure but it's fun, time-consuming , and not too expensive (about $15-$25 a puzzle). A friend of mine found out that a local high school offered an evening photography class, $60 for 6 weeks (an outstanding deal for a photography class) so she signed up. Or maybe pick up a cookbook and work your way through it. Start an unemployment support group. Learn to play an instrument. You get the idea. I think with a little imagination the possibilities are endless. 3. Go to the movie theater (and movie hop)-o.k this advice might be slightly unethical. Here's my point--movie theaters are generally pretty empty in the middle of the day so if you're looking for break in the middle of the day after you've been looking for a job all morning, head over to the movie theater. But since movie theaters can be expensive (especially if you're on a budget) ask if they have any special discounts or special rates. If not maybe get the most for your money by movie hopping. Two movies for the price of one! But if you get caught don't come crying to me! 4. Go to the nearest city. If you live close to a city you can tend to take it for granted and think, "Oh, I can go anytime." But often you never quite get around to it. I live in the 'burbs and the closest city to me is about one hour away. And I actually used to work in the city so I was there five days a week but it was never like I was in the city for fun. So pick a city close to you and play tourist for the day. Museums in the city often have one day a week where they offer free admission to the public. Or check online for discounts or upcoming events. I recently went to restaurant week where participating restaurants offer their lunch and dinner menus for a flat rate. It's a chance to check out restaurants in the city for a reduced price. Also consider public transportation because that way you don't have to worry about driving and paying for parking when you get into the city. So, if there's a place close to you and you've ever found yourself saying, "I've always wanted to go there." or "I've always wanted to see that." Maybe now is your chance. 5. Take a breather. I think in some ways I mean that literally. When I first lost my job at the law firm there was definitely a sense of panic. "What am I going to do?" "How am I going to pay my bills?" Aaarrrggghh! Then I took a deep breath. I inhaled. I exhaled. I counted to 10. Then I though this is a chance to really take inventory of my life--(Does that sound like an episode of Oprah?) I took a minute to think about what I really wanted. My experience at the law firm made me realize I didn't want to work at a large law firm in a skyscraper on the 32nd floor...it all sounded nice on paper but it wasn't realistically a good fit for me. So I made a list of personal and professional goals. On one side of the list were my goals and on the other side was how I thought I could meet those goals. Once I had down on paper what my goals were I realized I wanted to do work with nonprofit organizations. I began revising my resume and focused my job search. I think if I hadn't lost my job at the law firm I might not have taken the time to organize, prioritize and focus on my long term goals. Stay tuned for 5 more suggestions tomorrow!

Don't Count Your Chickens before they hatch

I'm going to switch gears alittle this week and talk about being unemployed and I hope by the time you've finished reading this you'll see how unemployment and working as a cashier are sort of related for me. So each blog this week will discuss various aspects of being unemployed--job interviews, looking for a job and some suggestions for what to do if you have some extra free time. Now you may wonder why I'm writing about what to do when you're unemployed when this blog is about my job as a cashier? As I mentioned before I worked in law firms in the city. Awhile ago I was placed by a staffing agency at a really nice law firm in the city. I knew right from the start that this was a temporary position and so I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Then after being there for about 4 months I got the news that the project was ending and I wouldn't need to come back the next week. Even thought I sort of saw it coming I was still disappointed. It was also sort of embarrassing to have to say to people, "Oh, I don't have a job anymore." It's still a tough thing for me to say. Then there were the practical issues I had to consider. First question--was I going to tell the grocery store that I could work either full time or tell them I could now work during the day? Well, I decided against that. Mostly because I wanted to keep my days open for applying for jobs and for job interviews. So after months of applying for jobs and sending out numerous resumes I got a call from a law firm and right from the start I thought it sounded pretty promising. The firm had a really good reputation. It was in a nice area of the city. There were 5 attorneys--which was the Goldilocks Law firm for me (not too big, not to small...just the right size). Then I went into the city for the interview and I went from thinking "oh, this sounds like a pretty good opportunity" to thinking, "Oh my god! I really, really, really want to work here." It started right from the beginning. The office was in a beautiful office building. Then I arrived at the office. Like I mentioned before it was a perfect size law firm with 5 attorneys and 7 support staff (including a receptionist and office manager.) Everyone was friendly and nice but also very professional. The office was clean, bright and spacious. Then the interview started. I met with all of the attorneys at once. I won't bore with the details but I really thought things went really well. I had a lot in common with a few of the attorneys--in fact I had even gone to school with one of the attorneys. The attorneys seemed impressed with my experience. Then the owner of the law firm took a minute to meet with me privately. We discussed a few more things about the law firm and then he asked what salary range I was looking for. I told him the range and he nodded and said that was totally doable. We discussed the benefits the firm offered to full time employees. As the interview wrapped up I shook hands with the owner of the firm and thanked him for taking the time to meet with me. The interview took place right before Christmas and he said, "Normally you would hear back from me in a day or two but with the holidays it might take some more time. I'm actually going out of town for a few days but you'll hear back soon." I thanked him again and went home feeling really good. I was so excited about the prospect of working at this firm. I was so excited that he had said the salary range I gave him was reasonable and doable. I was so excited that I was going to have health benefits, including vision and dental. I was budgeting with my "new salary". I could start to put a little money away and save up for a new car. Then I got to thinking about the grocery store. Would I still continue to work there? Hell, no! I COULD QUIT! No more second job. No more bagging groceries for $8 an hour! So you guys see where this is going, right? I mean after all I'm still working at the grocery store and writing this blog and the title of this blog is Don't Count your Chickens before they hatch. Christmas passed and I still hadn't heard back from him. Everyone kept telling (and I kept telling myself) not to worry until after the New Year. So the week between Christmas and New Years I was waiting on pins and needles. New Years passed and I still hadn't heard back from him. I tried not to panic. I thought maybe he's just catching up on work after getting back from the holidays and any hiring just sort of got put on the back burner. So I sent a courteous follow-up e-mail, just basically thanking him for taking the time to meet with me and expressing my interest in job. And I still never heard anything back. So I was pretty much just left wondering what the hell happened. What had I done wrong? So even though I work at grocery store I consider myself unemployed. So I think (or at least I hope) it's not too off topic to talk about being unemployed. I think it's related to being a cashier because the whole reason I am working part time as a cashier is because I haven't found a full time job yet.

Just for Laughs

A woman went into a pet shop to buy her husband a pet. After looking around she realized that all the pets there were very expensive. She went to the counter and was talking to the clerk. "I wanted to buy my husband a pet, but all of yours are so expensive." She said. "Well," said the clerk, "I have a huge bullfrog in the back for $50. Would you like to see it?" "$50.00? For a frog?" asked the woman. The clerk said, "It's a special frog. It gives blow jobs." Well, the woman did not particularly enjoy giving head, so she thought this was a heck of a deal. She'd get her husband a gift he'd surely enjoy and she'd never have to do that again. The woman decided to buy the frog. She took it home to her husband and explained the strange gift. Of course, her husband was a bit skeptical, but said he'd try it out that night. The woman went to bed that night relieved to know that she'd never have to give another blow job. About 2 in the morning, she woke up to hear pots and pans banging around in the kitchen. She got up to see what was going on. When she got to the kitchen she saw her husband and the frog sitting at the kitchen table like best buddies, looking through cookbooks. "What are you doing looking through cookbooks at this hour?" asked the woman. The husband looks up at her and says, "Well, if I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is outta here."

FAQs

Here are the top 5 questions I get asked pretty regularly by customers:

Question 1: Are you coupons really worth it?

Answer: The short answer is yes, absolutely!

The slightly more detailed (and probably obvious) answer is that shoppers who use coupons save money and if you can combine that with any in-store sales that might be going on in the store you can get some great deals!  I have personally seen customers save $40-$60 dollars with coupons.  I had customers whose original bill was $390.27.  Then they gave me their store card and with those savings it took the total down to $384.81.  Then they handed me a stack of coupons.  The final total for their bill was $323.47.  Doing the math--they had $61.34 worth of coupons.  So to me to save all that money is well worth taking the time to clip the coupons.  So if you have a little extra time before you go shopping to to flip through coupons on the weekend paper or by going online, you could find that it will pay off.

But just a quick word of caution--don't fall for the "coupon trap".  If you let a coupon "trap" you into buying an item that you normally would not have bought anyway then you're not really saving any money.  Or often there's a coupon for a $1.00 of of 2 of something.  Ask yourself, "Do I really need 2 of these?"  and if the answer is no, you'll save yourself money by not using the coupon and just buying one.

Question 2: Can I return this?

Answer:  Sure!  Ok, here's the deal...buying food at the grocery store is not buying a shirt at Target.  You take a shirt home, you  try it on, it doesn't fit and you can bring it back.  A grocery store is always happy to return/refund/exchange any item if there is something wrong with the item.  Or when someone buys batteries or lightbulbs that are the wrong size.  But what about returning food jut because you decided you didn't want it?  The other night a woman came up to the courtesy desk with 4 bags of potato chips and soda.  She said she wanted to return them because she bought them for a party but didn't use them.  Now, I personally think we shouldn't have to take something back simply because she misjudged the amount of food she needed for her party but she was refunded her money.  Just as a note to keep in mind--anything perishable that leaves the store  (no matter for how long) can not be put back on the shelf so if you return it (even if there's nothing wrong with it) we have to throw it away.  There was a woman who bought a pack of chicken.  She was out in the parking lot and as she was loading her groceries into the back of her car she realized she bought the wrong size package.  She immediately came right back into the store and we exchanged the chicken for her--but we had to throw away the package of chicken she had just returned.  There is a part of me that understands the logic in this.  Once a perishable item leaves the store, if it's returned it can't be put back on the shelves because there is no way of knowing how long it has been left out and improperly stored items can make people sick.  On the hand it is unfortunate to have a policy where so much perfectly good food is not able to be put back on the shelf to be sold.  It is so wasteful that this food just gets thrown away.

Another (holi)day, another dollar!

So yesterday was about how work can be a convenient excuse for getting out of something that you really don't want to do. Today is the flip side of the coin--when your friends and family are all out doing something really fun or it's a holiday when everyone you know has the day off and you are stuck at work! When you're in the retail or grocery store business it seems like you're busiest times are when everyone else has off from work! Like for example--this year New Year's Eve was on a Friday and I always work on Fridays. The store did close early--at 9:00 p.m-but that didn't seem early enough for me. I was picturing my family at home eating and drinking and laughing as they geared up for midnight and by the time I got back from work the party would be half-way over or relatives would already be drunk and passed out on the couch. A friend had invited me to her party and that didn't start until 9:30 or 10:00 but after a four or five hour shift at work I really didn't know if I would feel like going back home and getting dressed and heading out to a party. (I know that makes me sound very, very old!). The policy for working holidays at the grocery store (and I think it's pretty common in most customer service or retail businesses) is that there are certain days during the holiday season that are "blocked off". This is either because the expect to be very busy and need as many people working as possible or because it's a day when no one wants to work and they want to avoid everyone requesting off for the same day and having no one there to work. I have to say though that my store manager is really good about scheduling over the holidays. First, he puts up a sign up sheet so that you could volunteer to work certain shifts over the holidays and if he didn't have enough volunteers then he just scheduled people based on their normal availability--which seems to me to be the fairest way to handle it. And certain employees do get holiday pay (which I think is time and 1/2) but I an not one of them. So a week before New Years I started scheming about how I could get that Friday off. Well it turned out I did get that Friday off and I enjoyed some time with my family and then went to my friend's party for the rest of the night. I came home around 1:00 and feel fast asleep. So congratulations to everyone reading this for making it through another hectic holiday season! Only 361 shopping days until next Christmas!

Too much of a good thing

O.k.--I want to start off by saying I love my family, of course I do! They are smart, funny, kind, generous and caring people. Over the holidays we have a lot of fun and nice family traditions. We decorate and hang stockings, we bake Christmas cookie, someone lights a fire in the fireplace and we sit around and eat (too much) and drink (too much). We have intense, marathon games of trivial pursuit or sometimes Charades. We talk and laugh (and argue) and then laugh (and argue) some more. So that being said, over the holidays we have A LOT of family time and by the time Christmas is over sometimes I just want a little time to myself. Is that so selfish? (actually that might be pretty close to the definition of selfish...but anyway). Recently, when my grandmother told me my aunt and uncle were having (another) party I was dreading a night of the same small talk we had on Christmas and Christmas Eve and again on New Years day. And before I knew it I told my family I wouldn't be able to go to the party because I had to work. Convenient excuse, huh? I didn't have to work. I went to go see a movie instead. It was nice to sneak off for a few hours and sit in a dark movie theater with a bag of popcorn and a huge, overpriced soda. So while I love my family and I love being able to be with them to celebrate the holidays together, it is nice to have things getting back to normal after all the of the holidays! And so while I do feel guilty for lying and sneaking off to the movies I have to say it was a relaxing few hours. I guess just like having too much egg nog or too many Christmas cookies, maybe family time can be a little too much of a good thing.

Just a little midnight snack

I went to put my jeans on the other day and I have to be honest I really had to hold my breath and really, really suck in to get the button done. And the jeans hadn't even just come out of the dryer so I couldn't blame the dryer for "shrinking" them. Sigh. I glanced at the calendar--I mean, it was just after new years--and I thought I had just put on a little weight over the holidays...but I had to be honest, it was more then just a little weight. I realized the weight has been creeping up on me for a while now and it's because I really, really like food. Now, some of you may be asking, what the hell does this have to do with a blog about being a cashier? Well, besides working in a grocery store and being surrounded by food I also realize the hours I work definitely contribute to very poor eating habits! I normally work until midnight and normally before I leave I get something to eat. And let me tell you I am not picking up a salad or an apple. I get instant ramen noodles (loaded with sodium), or a candy bar (loaded with fat and calories), or a bag of potato chips, or a doughnut, or a microwaveable pizza (have you ever read the nutritional information on a box of pizza?--wow). Oh, you get the idea. So I get off work at 12:00 at night and get home shortly after midnight and I eat whatever junk food I bought at the store. Sometimes I am actually hungry but sometimes I am not hungry. I'm just bored and I want to sit and watch t.v and mindlessly stuff food in my face. I know that I shouldn't really be eating that late. Sometimes I try to compromise with myself so I will eat when I get home from work but I won't eat the junk food. So that means I plan ahead and when I go grocery shopping during the day I anticipate that when I get home at midnight I am going to want something to eat--so I buy fruit or those 100 calorie snack packs or cereal. But the junk food is like a one stand after a night of heavy drinking in college--it seems like a good idea at the time and it's satisfying at midnight--but you will likely regret it in the morning.

So starting here and now I'm going to change the way eat! Maybe it won't happen overnight but I'm going to make a conscious effort to eat better and feel better and have my clothes fit better! Wish me luck!

Turning over a new (years) leaf

Why does everyone make such a big deal out of New Years? Well, I think the simple reason is that it's fun. You go to a party, eat, drink, dance and have fun with your friends. And I can't speak for everyone else but for me I like New Years because it's a chance to look back at the last year--think about what the things you did right, think about the mistakes you made and more importantly to think about what you have learned from the mistakes you made. I think New Years is so nice because it's a chance for a fresh start.

Over the holidays I was sitting in the living room talking to my aunt. The rest of the family had gone to bed and it was just the two of us left talking. She asked me if I was happy. Well, I was curled up in a nice, comfy armchair, drinking egg nog and sitting by the fire so my toes were nice and toasty. So, I said, "Yes, I am pretty happy and overall I think our family has been pretty lucky." Well, by this time my aunt had had a few drinks and she said, "Well, what are you unhappy about?" And without a moments hesitation I said, "My job at the grocery store, obviously." I mean overall my life is good and I am a pretty content, happy person but this job is the thorn in my side. I want to take a minute here to sort of explain what I mean by that because I don't want it to sound like I think I am too good to be working there. There are all sort of jobs I can think of--a garbage man, for example. There is certainly nothing wrong with being a garbage man. They perform an absolutely vital function. I mean, imagine if there wasn't garbage collection in your community. But I just know without a doubt in my mind that I don't want to be hanging off the back of a garbage truck collecting trash.

Ever since I was young, my family has stressed the importance of education and hard work. And since I was about 10 years old I have wanted to be a lawyer. I had the idea that lawyers helped people. Lawyer fought for fairness and truth. So I did the "right" thing. I graduated from high school (with average grades) and went to college (with average grades) and finally applied to law school. Imagine my surprise when I was actually accepted. I graduated law school with a sense of excitement and I was really looking forward to the future. I was excited to do something that contributed to society. I was excited to embark on a challenging career. I was excited to help people. And now, here I am working at a grocery store--no closer to becoming a lawyer. So for the first time in my life my faith is slightly shaken. I find myself wondering if maybe just hard work isn't enough. I mean, Kim Kardashian has become a household name and she no discernible talent. She made a sex tap, signed a deal for a reality t.v show and suddenly she's making millions of dollars a year. I have gone through years and years of schooling trying to establish a career and I end up at a grocery store. That just seems sort of messed up to me. I'm not saying I need to be a millionaire--I would just like to make a comfortable living. I don't need a Ferrari--I would just like a cute little Honda Civic with a sunroof. So that is why working at the grocery store is so frustrating for me--It's not that there is anything wrong with being a cashier at a grocery store it's just that I have worked pretty hard and I just feel like I have more to offer then scanning groceries.

Recently, I have really thought about giving two weeks notice at the grocery store. I was thinking that if the store wasn't there as a sort of safety net I might push myself harder to find something better. I can honestly say that I have really been trying to find a better job. I spend hours on the Internet researching law firms and reading job postings. I have been sending out resumes and I have even been on a few job interviews recently. But I need to keep working at it. I realized that I just have to take a deep breath, take things a day at a time and set goals for myself. And it is up to me to make sure that I meet the goals I set. No one else will do it for me. The job at the grocery store is just a part-time, temporary thing. But whenever I walk in there it just reminds me that I am not the lawyer I want to be and I feel like a failure. Then I have to remind myself that it doesn't define me. Maybe it will ever help give me character and remind me not to take myself too seriously!

So, I shared this story with you guys because I hope that if someone else reading is in the same boat they won't give up on their dreams. Set goals for yourself and keep working toward them.